~~~Okay, because it was so hard to let these characters go (still is), I decided to do ten chapters of Xan and Tam. They take place a couple months after they wed up until the point in the other snippets where Tam becomes pregnant with Iso. Hope you enjoy them! Comment box is coming soon!~~~
“Put that down. You’ve had enough.”
“I said, put it down!”
He took the glass tumbler filled with amber liquor and ice cubes and threw it across the room. It fell, crashing against the interior, its contents splattering a design of mutated starbursts along the corrugated wall. She pushed away from the desk and walked slowly to the couch. There she fell into the cushions, kicking off her shoes while leaning her head against the back. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him. The buzz from the alcohol made her mind stir. She saw swirls behind her eyelids and felt the beginnings of nausea form in the pit of her stomach.
“You drink too much. All day…you sit around here and fucking drink,” he said from behind.
She could tell by the sound of his voice that he stood behind. Leaning her head back, she cracked slanted eyes and his visage, angry, annoyed, yet beautiful, hummed and crackled in her sight.
“How many more times will I come home to find you like this?” He asked his voice just a little softer.
She closed her eyes and turned, rolling her body down into the couch, resting on her side. She didn’t answer him. She didn’t want to talk. He knew what her problem was; should be able to guess it. It’d been two months of fake smiles and forced civility. If it wasn’t for her son, Omega, she would’ve lost what few strands of sanity she had left.
It was hard because she thought of him. Mumby. Gods only knew how much she missed him. Xanatos hadn’t given her a chance to explain. He wouldn’t let her contact him; no calls, no transmissions. How did he expect her to turn her feelings ‘off’ like that? She wasn’t a machine. That wasn’t the kind of stuff she was made of. He wanted her to be something she wasn’t. He wanted her to stop loving Mumby and to love him.
He sat next to her on the couch. She felt him lift her legs into his lap, his hands settling over her knees.
“Tam,” he said, shaking her slightly.
“You waist…my drink,” she said words thick and heavy.
“You’re overdoing it…you need to straighten yourself out and stop this foolishness.”
Turning on him, she sat up, a bit too abruptly as she saw stars or something. Nausea claimed her for a second. She righted herself, pulling her legs from his grasp.
“I’m miserable!” She yelled. “This isn’t working, Xan. Why can’t you see?” She asked pleading. He reached for her, grabbing hold of her arms. He shook her slightly.
“Miserable? I’ve done everything for you. Why can’t you just be my wife and be happy about it, like you’re supposed to be?”
“Supposed to be? Oh hell, here we go again…I’m ‘supposed’ to be with you, right? I’m ‘supposed’ to be your wife…your fucking slave is all I am…” She mumbled, jerking away from him. She stood and tumbled, losing her footing before being righted again. He held her. She placed a hand to her forehead.
“Get off of me…I…I think I might be sick…”
She pushed him away, but he held tight, saying nothing as he lifted her in his arms. She had no choice but to hold onto him as he climbed the stairs to the second floor. He deposited her in front of the toilet and she pushed the lid out of the way. A few minutes later, after dry-heaving for the last time, she attempted to stand. He was there, holding her upright and stripping her clothes…
“I’m not fucking having sex with you, Xan!” She yelled. He pulled away and continued. She was sure that her breath was rank. After having thrown up, she felt better, but the dizziness was still there.
He stripped her naked and pushed her into the shower. The water hit her dead in the face; it was cold and biting, much like the hands that caressed her. She turned, watching him as he stood naked in all his glory. He lathered a sponge and bathed her all over. She held to the railing, watching him as he soaped himself.
Afterwards, he dried her, slipped a nightgown over her head and led her to bed. He left the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts and lingering dizzies. When he returned he had two cups of tea and a saucer of saltine crackers. He set the bed tray between them as he slid beneath the covers.
They sipped the tea in silence until Xanatos reached for the remote and powered on the holovid. He turned the volume down low so as not to wake Omega in the next room.
After awhile, her stomach settled, time passed and the distance between them reached a stalemate. Who was she kidding? Nights like these were as any other night. They argued, fought, cried…yet they’d make up (usually with mind-blowing sex) by the end of the night. It’s just that lately; these nights came more and more frequently now that she found herself missing Mumby.
“You have to let him go,” Xanatos said interrupting her thoughts. She hated when he did that…read her mind. She glared at him and set the cup upon its saucer. She pushed the tray towards his side and ignoring him, turned on her side and snuggled deep under the covers. She reached over to the lamp and turned it off. She felt him rise from the bed and remove the tray. He walked into the nursery via the door inside their bedroom and checked on Omega. When he came back inside, he motioned all the lights to ‘off’. The holovid hummed as it powered down. His body sank into the mattress and he moved closer to her. She felt the heat of his skin scorch her exposed back.
She reached for the covers, pulling them closer, but he pulled them back. Instead of cool cotton as a barrier for her back, his chest took its place. He sidled against her, wrapping one arm around her waist, while the other rested above her head.
His hand flexed over her stomach, pulling her closer. Her behind settled in his lap and he moved against her, erection as ever-present as always.
“I said no…” She said denying the small stirrings in her nethers. Why did he have to…why was she so weak?
“Yeah, I know…” He whispered against her neck. He leaned in and kissed her there. She squirmed. His hand snaked down to her thigh, lifting the gown to her waist. She squeezed the pillow, biting into the sides. She felt feverish again, but not because of the alcohol.
A hand moved to her center. He caressed the bud, peeling her open and working her into a frenzy; so much so that she pressed her bottom against him, seeking. The action stopped; he paused and she wondered if maybe he changed his mind… She began to grow angry until a solid, wet tip slid against her backside. She sighed into the pillow as his hand lifted her leg. His other hand held her still, as he slowly pressed his sex deep inside her tight folds.
Instant tears is what she got; tears for three reasons. One, he was so big that in this position full penetration hurt her. Two, self-pity because she was so weak when it came to matters of the flesh, particularly where Xanatos was involved. Three, because he fit her just right. Each stroke filled her, threatening to push her over the edge each time. He drove her mad this way; bringing her close, but always pulling back. He knew her body better than she and he knew how to satisfy her like no other, not even Mumby…
Xanatos grunted in her ear as he slammed into her body hard. Surely, he’d heard the thought; saw her mind flashback to Mumby. He wore her out, gripping her thigh as he fucked her on the side. Suddenly, he pulled out and before she could protest, he turned her over onto her stomach. Automatically, her body lifted, waiting and ready to receive him. He pressed the head of his sex against her ass, pushing at the virgin hole as she squirmed beneath. He spread her cheeks, holding them flat with one hand, while he lined his body to enter her hard. He pushed inside her core, settling over her back as he fucked her into the mattress. With a finger from the hand that held her cheeks apart, he teased the other hole. She clenched, not used to this new feeling. She wanted to stop him, ask him what he did and why? But she couldn’t. He had her on the edge and each thrust threatened to push her over. She gripped the pillow while taking the blows from behind. He moaned hot breath in her ear. Hearing him whimper and lose control always made her crazy and so she came. She came so hard that she bit the pillowcase, ripping the 300-thread count fabric, all to keep from moaning too loudly and waking Omega.
Her body was gone. It was absolute jelly, quivering and electric. Xanatos eased up, leaning away from her as he waited on her orgasm to slow. He was yet hard in her body. Every so often while she panted her release, he’d swirl his hips, thus starting her up again.
“Get up,” he ordered breathlessly.
She didn’t hear him; didn’t have the energy to move so she didn’t. He smacked her ass and ordered her again. Renewed tears sprang to her eyes as she leveled her body up onto her elbows and then hands.
She couldn’t say anything…she was gone, gone, gone, but she obeyed him and he remained inside. Slowly he began to thrust again. She dropped her head between her shoulders and licked her lips. He swirled and thrust, giving her only the tip. He grabbed hold to one leg and lifted it; holding it against his thigh. His other hand settled at her hip, holding. She didn’t know what he meant; this was a new one. But as soon as he sank full hilt inside, her eyes opened wide and she howled. Somehow, someway, that one moment sent her into oblivion. And as he kept hitting that spot, his cock fucking her deep, pounding at the walls, she lost a little bit of herself each time.
Out of instinct of some sort, she tried to pull away, but he held her in place, his sex continually nudging that sweet spot deep inside.
It didn’t take long. She came, HARD, wailing his name as his body delivered forced stroke after stroke. After he felt she was satisfied, he then groaned his way to victory, spilling his seed deep in her womb.
He let her leg drop. Slowly she sank back to the bed. He fell atop of her, resting his body upon her back. After awhile, he moved, pulling his deflated sex from her sore hole. She winced as it exited and slowly drew herself into a ball.
She couldn’t deny it and he knew it. Reverberations from their lovemaking still rang true through her body. She held herself to keep from falling apart. Soon, he moved closer and cozied up next to her.
It’s how it always was between them. She’d curse him and damn him to hell for ruining a good thing with Mumby, but in the same breath she quaked knowing the pleasure and the life that Xanatos could give her and her son. No matter that it wasn’t right how he’d stolen her away… Maybe there was some logic to this afterall; maybe she belonged to him in more ways than just on paper…
Early the next morning, she rose with a blaring headache. Omega cried, so she went in to check on him. He fussed so much that she brought him back to her bed. Xanatos, now up, rubbed his eyes and reached out for ‘O’ who surprisingly ceased to cry once his father held him. Tam went to the bathroom and used the toilet. She drank a glass of water from the tap to relieve her parched throat. As she stood swallowing, she saw her image in the mirror. Hair tousled, lips swollen; there were various scratches on her arms and back. Her nipples were erect; the tiny nubs pressing forth through the satin fabric. She ran a hand along her form and shivered, her inner muscles clenching at the core.
She couldn’t deny how much she loved it…loved ‘the act’. She’d let Mumby take her all kinds of ways and she loved it. But never before had a man loved her like Xanatos. Wanton whore, sublime sex slave…this was how he really saw her. Sure, he loved Omega and seemed to get off on verbally claiming her as his wife, but it was only when they were fucking that she felt most important to him… It’s all she was good for…
“What are you doing?” He called from inside the bedroom.
“I’m coming,” she answered as she flicked the light to off.
She walked to the bed and slid underneath. Xanatos had replaced his pants and both he and Omega lay on the top sheet, covered with the duvet. The three year old rested in the center of the bed with Xanatos curled next to him. He reached for her as she moved in closer. There was a light in his eyes; hope, perhaps that she’d seen the light with this latest fucking and then subsequent family time, post-coital. She gave him a flicker of a smile and rested her head against the pillow. She rubbed her palm over her son’s head and watched him sleep, until she too, fell into slumber.
“Try on this one,” Xanatos said while shoving a black, slinky number towards her. She turned in the middle of the dressing area and snatched the dress away. For three hours now they’d been to every high scale store in the whole of
“Six is enough. I don’t want to try on anymore,” she huffed. She walked inside the fitting room and removed the silk number and replaced it with a new one.
“You’ll continue to try them on until I’m satisfied,” he called from the other side. “You’re my wife. It’s only fitting that you dress accordingly.”
She rolled her eyes. Pompous ass, she thought. He was only trying to buy her affection. After last night and this morning…oh gods, this morning. Her mind flashed back to the bathroom sink and how she was face to face with the spout as he took her from behind. Instantly, her face flamed red in remembrance. Nevermind the fact that she was sore, no, he wanted her again and again. Anytime she even thought to refuse him, he’d badger her all the more and when finally he ‘got her’, he intentionally sought to do her [i]well[/i].
But what he failed to realize was that she didn’t want all of these expensive dresses. Where would she possibly wear them to? They rarely left the house!
“Oh, that’s right, I’m your [i]wife[/i]. I can’t go around looking like a slave you bought and purchased…wait a minute, a slave your [i]dad[/i] bought and purchased,” she quipped as she shrugged the number up over her breasts. She rolled her eyes; she was sick of him, sick of this constant bossing around and-
“What did you say?” He snarled while bursting through the door. The unit shook with the upheaval; the door barely hanging onto the frame.
Again with the dramatics, she thought. He was such a…
“Sir! Sir, you can’t go in there,” a voiced called from further out. The sales lady approached the stall finding Xanatos towering over his wife. He was incredibly annoyed, on the verge of anger.
“I apologize,” he offered to the attendant, not looking at her but at Tam.
“We made special concession for you, allowing you to join your…your wife, but you have to remain out of the individual cubicles and-“
“Fine,” he cried finalizing the conversation.
The attendant stepped aside as he stormed through the door. Tam watched as he walked to the open area and took a seat in one of the waiting chairs there.
“I apologize for my husband. He’s just very…concerned about my fashion choices,” Tam offered.
“It’s fine…just don’t let it happen again, will you?”
“Will you require any more items…or have you enough already?” The clerk asked as she glanced to the mounting pile of clothing sitting next to Xanatos.
“No, no more. We’ll take all of those…if you’ll wrap them up for me? Oh, and this one,” she said handing the lady the sky blue, silk wrap she’d only just removed.
“I’ll bring this one out when I’m done, okay?” She said giving the sales lady a bright smile…[i]anything to calm the old bag of bones[/i].
The older lady nodded and made her way to the open area. She motioned for help from another employee and together they picked up the items and walked them to a nearby ticket counter. Tam’s gaze fell on Xanatos. He sat in the chair glaring at her.
“What?” She asked, settling a hand on her hip.
“It’s not enough. Get dressed; we’re going to another store.”
She wanted to curse him so badly but she didn’t. Instead, she slammed the door in his face. Her back hurt, she missed her son. She was tired of the constant stops and starts, and she missed her son. She was hungry; her stomach grumbling for some time now, oh, and she missed her son.
“I don’t want to do this anymore today. I want to check on Omega,” she said as she stepped into the area and stood in front of him. He rose, his height and build making her feel as small as she was.
“I’ve never known a woman to [i]turn down[/i] a free shopping spree,” he smirked.
She rolled her eyes and pushed past him. [i]Who’s he kidding? This shit ain’t free[/i]. He chuckled behind her. She turned on him as they approached the counter. Handing the dress to the attendant, she crossed her arms and glared at the counter. There were an array of chronos inside the case; one in every color. She loved chronos.
“Will that be all, sir?” The attendant asked.
“Umm, not quite…I need one of those in every color please. Just add it to the bill and deliver it out front. My car is waiting. I’ll alert your presence to my driver.”
“Yes, yes sir,” the lady beamed, pleased no doubt with the huge commission she’d receive on the sale.
“You already know I am,” she replied rolling her eyes. He wrapped an arm around her waist and together they walked from the store.
After walking a couple of long lengths to get to the front of the shopping center, they fell into the limo while Bentley loaded the bags. They rode to the house in silence and when they arrived, he took to the study and she to the nursery while dinner was prepared.
At the table, they said nothing. He was unusually quiet…pensive, even. It made her suspicious. What could he possibly want now? Just as she asked herself the question, his eyes lifted and met her gaze dead on. [i]Oh, that…[/i] She almost sighed, but instead turned her attention to Omega who sat in his kiddie chair next to her.
“OffWorld Corp. has a yearly banquet that celebrates the successes of the previous year...”
“You’re telling me this because?” She interrupted. She glanced at him and he scowled, giving her a look.
“Because we’re going…you’re going…with me.”
“So this is why you bought me all those gowns and dresses…Hmmm, and here I was thinking you actually wanted to buy me nice things, just because. Is everything with you some sort of manipulation? Some scheme to get me to do your bidding? I mean,” she continued while hoisting Omega from the chair. “Are you feeling guilty about being ‘
He stood so quickly that it shook the table. She jumped back with Omega in her arms. He called for the nursemaid who came running from the kitchen.
“Take my son upstairs and get him ready for bed, will you?” He asked, not looking at the maid, but glaring at Tam.
She handed him off to Gretchen and watched as she carried my child from the room. No sooner had the door closed behind her was he on Tam, gripping her right arm in a death hold and shaking her senseless, pushing me untilshe landed against the wall.
“You continue to try me, don’t you? How many times do I have to say it…you are my wife, not some slave, not-“
“Well that’s why you bought the dresses isn’t it? The dresses, the shoes, the jewelry, all those chronos? You’re trying to keep me pacified and-“
“I bought you those things because you are my wife!” He yelled shaking her. His breath was hot on her face, so she turned away. Pissed, she was.
“But I’m not good enough for you, right? What I ‘had’ wasn’t good enough for you…”
“What? You didn’t have any dresses before-“
“I did when I was with Mumby! But you didn’t give me time to gather my things, remember? So now you have to dress me up; buy me bigger and better things so maybe I won’t think of those old items…”
“Hold the fuck up. You are stretching this way out of proportion. And stop finding excuses to bring up that gods-be-damned drug addict, ex-boyfriend of yours! You’re mine now, Tam. Mine. I want you to look good. I want to take you to nice places and give you nice things.”
“You just want to show me off. I bet all the companies you own are supported by people who look like me…” Where they came from she didn’t know, but suddenly tears were in her eyes. He held her wrists, both of them, to the wall, pressed to either side of her head.
He sighed, lowering her arms. She was looking for a reason to fight with him, so she brought on the slavery and the materialism and everything negative she could think of about him. Truth was, she wasn’t unaccostumed to this kind of treatment; Mumby had been so good to her. It was just that…she was beginning to…a small part of her, might… She was scared. How to handle truly falling for a man who’d stalked you, preyed upon you, abducted you and then forced you into bondage, both mental and sometimes physical (every Tuesday)… Wasn’t there a complex that would explain her situation? Or could it be that she was falling in the deep end and he was right there…the one set to catch her.
She turned and pushed away from the wall. But he held her back and forced her to face him; his fingers catching her chin in a firm grip. Hot tears slid one from each eye down the sides of her face. He leaned in and kissed her lips. It was a slow, soft kiss; no pressure, just the slightest touch. She sighed into his mouth and when he pulled her close, she wrapped both arms around his neck and hung on.
“Don’t fight me…I just want to love you and give you everything, okay?”
She didn’t answer. Her silence was enough. He let her go and she pulled away, claiming a headache. After a shower, she got ready for bed. Below, she knew Xanatos was in his study, working or drinking or scheming, something; so she checked on Omega found him asleep and crept back to their bedroom. She fell asleep alone, but later in the night, the mattress sank and a warm body curled up next to her. Xanatos pulled her close, kissing her temple while she turned. [blue]oh God…I think I might have to insert a scene here if I don’t hurry up and stop this. LOL[/blue] She sighed and fell back to sleep with her mind full of mild worry for the future.
“You’re not going to smoke that in here,” he began. She turned, gave him a look and lit up anyway. He leaned over her and cracked the window. The car bounced through the sky. The winds were picking up; it would storm soon enough. It always did on Telos.
“They’re bad for you,” he said, not knowing why. He wanted her to talk to him, but she wasn’t saying much…just ignoring him and he didn’t like that.
“So,” she responded. “I like it…leave me alone about it,” she said while taking another puff.
“Did you always smoke? Or was that a habit you picked up when you moved to Coruscant?”
“When I moved,” she answered, but not really answering.
“Any other habits I should know about?” He asked.
“What do you mean, Xan?”
“Habits. Vices. I know you like to smoke and then there’s the drinking all the fucking time. You don’t, you don’t, you’re not using or anything are you?”
It was dark in the cab but he could see her profile turn upon him sharply. She glared and he felt the pierce of her stare as they sat in silence, smoke filtering from the cab out into the night.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Drugs Tam. Goddamn, I know that fuck-up did shit around you. I’m wondering if you did too-“
He saw it coming before he felt it. She slapped him and slapped him hard.
“I can’t believe you’re asking me this. I fucking tell you that I’m tired, you don’t believe me so you accuse me of using drugs? What the fuck?” She yelled.
The car began to decelerate and lower. He was perturbed and on the verge of full blown anger. His cheek stung; he rubbed at it.
She drew the cigarette to her lips again; he grabbed her wrist, pulled the filter from her hand and flung it out the window. He pressed her back into the seat, moving over her struggling body. He smiled, liking how he’d pinned her down. Her anger made him giddy. [i]Anything to get her responsive…[/i]
“Stop this…get off of me!” She huffed.
“Are you taking anything? You better not be, I’ll…”
“You’ll what,” she yelled and pushed at him hard. “You know, I’m not…leave me alone!”
He let up, sitting back in the seat, admiring the unkemptness of her hair.
“You did do something with him. I’d bet on it,” he said, still unwilling to let this go.
“What Mumby and I had is none of your goddamn business, Xan. I’m not telling you anything, so stop egging me on,” she said as she reached for the door handle.
He turned and opened his door and got out. He met her around on her side of the limo, but she wasn’t there. She’d taken the steps two at a time to get inside.
Rain falling in heavy droplets began to pelt the stone stair. He ran to catch up to her. Once inside, she took the first stair to the second floor; he reached out and caught her wrist.
“I’m sorry, Tam,” he said. “I push too much sometimes. You weren’t talking…I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She glared at him and pulled her arm. Reluctantly, he let her go. She huffed and started up the stair, not looking back.
He stood there in the semi-darkness, chewing on the inside of his lip.
She entered the nursery from the hall. Gretchen sat next to the bed, asleep in the chair while Omega lay quietly snoozing away. She slipped over to the woman, touching her lightly on the shoulder. Gretchen, startled looked up and smiled.
“You go to bed. Thank you for watching him,” Tam whispered.
The older lady nodded, got up and tip toed from the room. Tam watched her baby boy as he slept soundly, even with the storm raging outside. He was so precious…the one good thing Xan had given her…
Xan. She fumed thinking of his behavior in the car. Still, should she expect any less from him? He was in many ways a child and his actions more often than not, since entering into this ‘arrangement’, reflected that. He was younger than she; maybe it was just his immaturity?
She wouldn’t think on it now. Kissing Omega goodbye she left the nursery by way of a side door that led into her bedroom. Xan wasn’t there. [i]Good,[/i] she thought. She wanted time alone after being stuck to him, arm-in-arm for the past six hours. She hoped he felt bad about treating her so ridiculously earlier. But this was Xan and most likely, he did not.
Standing under a hot shower, she heard him enter the suite. She finished and stepped out, reaching for a towel. She turned and there he stood in the doorway, just looking at her.
“Hey,” he said as she turned away and headed towards the vanity, securing the towel at her chest.
“Hey,” she answered back. She was tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired. She didn’t want to fight with him anymore; at least not tonight. She wanted to go to bed, to sleep and nothing more.
“Not now, Xan. I just want to go to sleep, okay?” She spoke while glancing at his reflection in the mirror. She watched as he looked away, embarrassed, defeated, disappointed… He turned and walked into the bedroom. She heard the closet door open and knew he was inside, perhaps shrugging off his clothing, putting on pajama bottoms and nothing more.
She applied cream to her face, lotion to her body before exiting the bath. In the bedroom, she walked to her bureau, reached inside for a pair of silk pajamas, let the towel drop to the floor as she shrugged on the bedtime outfit.
Xan, who stood over by the windows looking out, watched her. She could feel his gaze, always, even now as it emblazoned questions onto her naked back. But she didn’t turn, just continued to dress until she was properly clothed. Without a word, she turned, walked to their bed, pulled the duvet and slid underneath, settling with her back to him.
Minutes later, he left the window, turned the light at his bedside and slid inside. He didn’t make a move to touch her and for once, she was grateful. She wasn’t in the mood and no amount of pleasuring on his part could get her there. When the body needs rest, it needs it…there’s no desire left for bedroom acrobatics.
* * *
The next morning, she found herself face to face with a wall of warm pale flesh. Sometime during the night they’d found each other. She didn’t move; part of her liked the warmth of being this close. Her head throbbed a little…residual effects of too much bubbly from the night before. Suddenly his hand flexed against her waist. He held her there; his naked palm touching the flesh of her side had snuck its way underneath the fabric of her pajama top. [i]Sneaky bastard[/i], she thought. She moved to push away and found her left hand cradling his back. [i]Traitor[/i], she thought and chuckled under her breath.
“What’s so funny?” He asked. Had he already awakened?
“Nothing,” she mumbled while closing her eyes and snuggling closer to him. He felt good; she couldn’t deny. Her head hurt and she wanted to go back to sleep.
The dim light of morning peeked its way through the draperies. [i]Another hour[/i] she thought to herself, [i]that’s all I need…just one more of…sleep[/i]. But it was unlikely she would get it as she felt Xan move, pulling her closer, his lips connecting with her forehead. He kissed her once; she sighed. He kissed her again, this time on her temple. She sighed again. More kisses followed, soft and sweet, all over her face. He continued to kiss her, even as he rolled them until she was on her back…and she let him.
Her brain screamed a warning. Wasn’t she upset with him about something?
“Are you still?” He asked as he hovered above her. His hands cradled her face, his thumb, stroking her brow. Slowly, she opened her eyes; she met his amethyst gaze head-on. His eyes…gods, she’d never get used to them. They were too pretty, too brilliant…
Her hands settled at his waist as he maneuvered himself on top. [i]How to respond?[/i] She questioned.
“Xan, you…” She began.
“I’m sorry,” he said interrupting and then planting a heated kiss on her lips. He said it again and again and kissed her nose, her cheeks, her eyes until finally she pushed at him, fingernails scraping his sides as she gripped his waist to move. A cried escaped from his mouth to land next to her lips and unconsciously (probably not) he ground his lower body against her.
“That’s just it…you’re always sorry…”
“You wouldn’t talk to me,” he said, trying his best to sound sad. She rolled her eyes. “I don’t like it when you don’t talk to me…when you get quiet and sad,” he admitted.
“Maybe I don’t feel like talking…”
“Maybe you don’t feel like talking to ‘me’, right? Because I’m not ‘him’?” He said, a hand sliding to her neck.
“I love you, Tam,” he said, his hand pausing at her neck. She half-expected him to squeeze her there, hard, as it seemed to be something he liked, but he only caressed her before leaning in to kiss her again.
She closed her eyes to the touch, her hands once again relaxing at his sides. [i]Ah, f_ck it[/i], she thought as he deepened the kiss. She met his tongue, entangled it with her own and he moaned, body grinding against hers. Naturally her legs opened and lifted, surrounding him. His other hand moved from her waist, up her chest to a breast. He grasped her there, squeezing the softness. His fingertips traveled over the nipple and playfully teased the nub. Instantly, they grew erect and she shivered.
“Are you cold?” He asked pulling away, concerned eyes gazing. She nodded, swallowed and sighed, “A little,” as his fingers teased and pinched lightly at her nipple. His hand slid from under her shirt and he used both to unbutton the top.
She closed her eyes feeling as he removed the garment; felt his warmth as his fingers brushed at her sides, skimming down the pajama bottoms. She lay there in the semi-darkness, completely nude underneath his gaze. She kept her eyes closed as he made noise; she knew he removed his bottoms too.
As the covers rustled and moved away, she lifted her arms and rested them behind her head. Opening her eyes she watched as he came forth, laying against her, suffusing her with his warmth. He wrapped both arms around her body, kissed her nose, squeezed her tight and asked, “Better?”
She nodded and gave him a slow smile.
“Forgive me?” He asked while reaching for her hands and placing them along his shoulders. He then reached for the covers and pulled them up.
She didn’t want to talk…didn’t want to say yes or no; didn’t want to say anything, really because she knew he’d do it again and again and again. So she pulled him close, planting a kiss on his lips. He sighed into her mouth and nudged his erect sex against her thigh.
“Tell me what you want,” he began, “I’ll give you anything, anything…” he whispered against her mouth. She grew hopeful and he continued, “…anything but that.” [i]Fair enough[/i], she thought. She knew leaving him wasn’t an option, would never be an option for her. [i]Just f_ck me.[/i] The words flowed through her mind and into her actions, the silent command emanated from the kisses she planted on his face, his cheek rough with stubble, the shell of his ear, his neck…
He pulled away, looking at her. His hand drew to her breast again and he stroked the nipple. She arched into his touch while envisioning those fingers and now his tongue (for he licked his lips) at her core.
“How do you want it?” He asked, voice breathless with anticipation.
She continued to move against him; her hips swirling against him.
“How, Tam?” He asked again, voice strained as her body called to his.
“Like my p_ssy, suck my cl*t…fuck me like you did the first time we were together.”
His eyes grew round as saucers. Never before had he heard her say those words, those phrases… She smiled, admiring the shocked look on his face. He seemed unable to say much so he continued to stare. She moved a hand between them, until she found his c_ck. He gasped as her hand wrapped around his thickness; he visually shook when her finger teased the dripping tip.
Quickly he reached for her hand, both hands and pushed them away. She laughed.
“Okay,” he protested, “I’ll do as you say…just…don’t…”
She grinned, liking the bit of control she exerted over him. Usually he was the aggressor in their lovemaking. He f_cked her so good, always, and secretly she liked being tossed around, used and abused. Maybe she was ‘supposed’ to like it. But this time around… [i]Serves him right[/i], she thought.
He released her hands and sat up. His breathing had increased, was heavier. There was a sheen of sweat covering his body. She watched as her beautiful creature tried to focus. He licked his lips… (she loved seeing that) and ran a hand through his hair. He wiped his eyes and she marveled again at the color as he put two hands on her legs and opened her wide. He pressed her thighs back and lowered himself in between. He laid there and gave her a smiled as he kissed the inside of one thigh and placed his hands on her folds, opening…
His fingers maneuvering her made her crazy. Already she was incredibly wet and super horny. One simple look from Xanatos could do that to her; send her into such exalted states. His breath cooled her heat, so she lifted herself onto her elbows to watch.
“Lick me,” she said, a hand reaching out to stroke his head. She applied pressure, urging him forth. He maintained eye contact as he leaned in and gave her one long lit along the slit. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. [i]Oh gods, his tongue…[/i] When she looked again, there was a slight smirk on his face. His eyes glittered with a young boy’s mischievousness as he licked her again and again.
When the tip of his tongue encountered her cl*t, it took all the strength she had to remain sitting upright. She wanted to watch, but already the pleasure shocks reverberated and his tongue, gods his tongue wore her out, sending her that much closer to “crazy”. He continued, licking her, stroking her, fingers pulling at her flesh.
“More?” He asked, stopping while she caught her breath.
“Yes…no…yes,” she nodded hastily. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could make it much longer. Always quick and easy to come, she felt very much on the verge now.
And then he kissed her ‘there’, lips sucking around the tight pleasure bud. She squirmed beneath him, eyes rolling into the back of her head. He suckled, slid his tongue up and down, suckled, swirled his tongue ‘round and ‘round, suckled and slid his tongue deep inside…
Her arms gave way. She fell back upon the bed, hips instantly rising to meet his tongue-thrusts. He placed a hand to her stomach and held her firm as he f_cked her with his mouth, face buried deep in her sex.
When she came, it was hard…hard not to control the sounds of her screaming. Xanatos replaced his tongue with two fingers, continuing to thrust into her as she came. His other hand reached for her mouth, covering, silencing. She bit into his finger, yet wailing until those wails became moans. She tasted blood, felt her body calm, felt his fingers slip from inside her. She moved to lick her lips, but his hand was yet there, so she licked his fingers, ‘the finger’, the one she’d bitten into.
A minute or so later, she lay heaving on the bed. Xanatos laid next to her, occasionally kissing a breast, sucking a nipple, anything to prolong the pleasure she yet experienced. She opened her eyes and found him staring. She put a hand to his neck and pulled him close, kissing him, tonguing him down.
She pushed at his shoulder until he rolled onto his back. She climbed atop of him, still feeling his tongue and fingers working inside of her, although he’d long since stopped. She wanted that back again…wanted to feel him… wanted the pleasure…
He held her at the waist.
“This isn’t how we-“
Her kisses stopped him from speaking. She reached behind, seeking out his sex. When her fingers encountered his hardened flesh, she leaned back, lifted up, place the head at her entrance and tried to sit upon him…tried, being the operative word.
“OH MY GODS!” She cried against his mouth. Immediately he lifted her, large palms holding her ass. “I can’t…I…f_ck, that hurts…” She said resting her head on his shoulder. [i]So much for being in control[/i], she thought.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. She could hear the smile in his voice and then saw it as he rolled them again. Once more, she was flat on his back and he was in charge…
She didn’t have time to object. He grabbed her legs and bent her knees to her chest. Almost instantly, he pressed his c*ck inside. His hips hugged her ass, her waist. As soon as he entered, he began with long hard thrusts that sent her world rocking. She reached above for support. Each thrust grew stronger; each grunt he made sounded louder and louder. She could feel him now; feel him all the way to the back of her sex, where her sweet spot laid in wait of being touched.
She moaned, called for him, encouraged him. He slowed, opened her legs, pulled her into his lap and continued with more hard thrusts.
[i]I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, he’s going to kill me, kill me, oh f_ck but does he feel so good, so right…[/i]
Yet again, this is what they did best and Omega was the perfect symbol of mommy and daddy’s good deeds. She laughed out loud… Xanatos slowed, a confused look highlighting his aroused face.
“What?” He breathed continuing to thrust.
“Nothing…just finish,” she chuckled.
“What the f_ck is it, Tam?”
“Nothing,” she reassured.
His hands squeezed her knees then slid to her thighs. He gripped the back and pulled her closer into his lap. He began again with small thrusts, this time rotating his hips. She sighed. He stopped again and suddenly pulled out.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“F_ck this, why the f-…why are you laughing?”
[i]Aww, he’s angry.[/i] She suppressed a chuckle. It was all innocent really. She thought of Omega and her little comment and…it was cute and she laughed, [i]now he’s mad…what the f_ck? [/i]
She sat up, pulling her knees to her chest. If he wanted to be like that, then fine. She already came once and that was good enough. Besides, she was sore… She slid across the bed and stood.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
She turned and saw him, sitting there with a fully erect penis and a pissed off expression. She couldn’t help it…this time she let the laugh escape her.
“I’m going to take a shower,” she said matter-of-factly.
She turned and headed towards the bath. No sooner had she stepped inside did she feel him on her heels.
“You think this is funny?” He yelled, grabbing her arm. He yanked her around and pushed her up against the nearest wall. The breath was knocked from her body. She looked at her husband and saw the wild look in his eye.
“You’re going to finish what you started,” he cried while holding one hand to her neck and the other wrapped around his c*ck.
‘I’m tired,” she said hoping he’d leave her alone now. Just how short was his fuse?
“Get down!” He yelled pushing her down the wall by the shoulder.
She fell to her knees; the skin there encountering the cold of the granite flooring. Xanatos grabbed her by the hair and pushed her head back.
“You want me to suck you off, now? Is that it? Is it very painful, Xan?” She asked, glancing at his sex. The member seemed to throb and pulse; the dripping eye seemed to cry it’s release with droplets of pre-come glistening there.
He didn’t answer her, just took the tip and shoved it against her mouth. She closed her teeth against the intrusion and he grunted his anger.
“Tam, don’t make me ‘make’ you do it,” he warned. He pulled again on her hair and she glared up at him. Slowly, she opened her mouth and little by little he slid he head and part of the shaft deep into her mouth. He moaned and placed his other hand on her head, using both to hold her steady while he began to thrust.
The skin around her mouth strained and stung as she did her best to relax to accommodate his size. She wondered just how long it would take…he’d been ready for so long now. Perhaps she was a little unwise to tease him, but he overreacted when she’d laughed. Had he ‘listened’ to her then he would’ve known the reason why. It was a harmless thought. But now she knew, he was perhaps more vain than she and that anything little thing she could say or do might set him off, if he felt insecure enough about it.
She placed her hands on his waist, holding steady as he rocked back and forth in her mouth. He pressed her head backwards and proceeded to stuff himself further into her mouth, into her throat. She groaned, he moaned, she prayed it to be over… Soon, she felt him stiffen and thankfully, he pulled out before coming. She wiped her mouth, as she watched him from the corner of her eye continue to jerk. She moved to get up, but he pushed her back against the wall. Before she knew what he meant to do, sticky, hot come splatted against her face and neck. She closed her eyes to it, bringing her hands up to shield her face she protested.
“Stop it! Stop that!” She begged, but he held her still and even as the spurts came less and less, he moved forth, rubbing the tip of his c*ck across her face, smearing in the warm substance on the skin of her cheek, her nose, her mouth; some even managed to land in her eye. Immediately the orb teared, coated with tears to expel the foreign substance from its surface. Xanatos must’ve mistook this for crying because he shoved her back, laughing at her crouching on the floor, hands busy wiping away his spunk.
“Don’t you ever mock me again…if you do, I promise you I’ll do worse, you understand?” He asked, voice no longer full of laughter. It was cold, calculating and menacing, a far cry from earlier when he’d declared his love for her…
“F_ck you,” she said while struggling to get up. He grabbed her by the shoulders and drug her to the shower. Flinging her inside, he followed, turning on the spout. He pushed her underneath and pulled her hands away from her eyes. The water stung and burned as it hit the jellified meat of her cornea.
“I swear to you, Tam. Don’t f_cking play games with me. Ever.”
She was quiet, not knowing what to say. She rubbed at her eyes, seeing her vision return to normal despite the chlorinated water stinging it now. Xanatos stood in front of her; dangerously close; dangerous because she could feel the negative energy, which came off of him in waves. He was yet angry; probably wanted to do something else to her… All over a misunderstanding about a joke-
He shoved her to the side as he soaped his body. Ignoring her, he hopped from the shower and left her alone inside. She clung to the wall, face expressionless, not knowing what to say… She’d attempted to be ‘loving’ to him. Hell, for a while there she’d even forgot what happened two months ago. She didn’t think of Mumby or-
The door to their suite slammed so hard that it shook the walls of the bathroom. Either he was yet upset or he’d just heard her think of Mumby.
Well, she’d be damned if she hid her thoughts anymore. If she wanted to remember, to reminisce then she would. He’d taken so much from her; it wasn’t fair. Yet he expected her to be the regular wife, the normal wife and mother… [I]He must be out of his f_cking mind[/I], she thought to herself as she toweled off.
Walking into the nursery, she checked on her son. He wasn’t there. The door to the main hall was open, so she assumed Gretchen had come to collect him for breakfast.
She’d get ready for the day, go downstairs, have a bite to eat, play with her son and forget all about her husb-, about Xanatos. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure of referring to him thusly. She must’ve been out of her mind to think that she could make ‘something’ work out of their relationship. No, she’d go back to not forgiving him; to giving him hell everyday about it; ignoring him… And when next he wanted to punish her with an act like he committed in the bathroom, well, she’d do something equally bad in return.
That ‘shyt’ was so mean. Once, she and Mumby, they’d… and it was hot, but f_ck that! F_ck, Xanatos and his pretty, pink c*ck. F_ck him.
It was her fifth vodka tonic. Fifth. Omega was at home. It was Friday. [I]Mommy’s day off[/I]. Xanatos was busy at work…or somewhere, so she’d left the house, just left and didn’t look back.
It’d been a chore almost deciding what to wear. Her mind said, ‘conservative’, but her body said, ‘skank & skimpy’. She had gone with the latter. It was only three o’clock in the afternoon; Happy Hour hadn’t even begun, but she didn’t care. If these corporate executives took her for a hooker, a prostitute, she wouldn’t care…didn’t care. Afterall, she [I]was[/I]…
“Would you like another, madame?” The bartender asked.
“Why certainly, thank you for suggesting,” she beamed, giving him a flirtatious smile.
“Coming right up,” he winked. [I]Ah, kind of cute…very cute…[/I]
Sure, they had booze at home, but…she had to get out of the house. The couple of hours between Omega’s afternoon nap and Xan’s arriving from work wore on her because she dreaded him getting there. For the past couple of weeks, since ‘the incident’ in the bathroom, he’d been moody and distant. She didn’t attempt to appease him; only said two words to him (if required) while they ate dinner. Afterwards, he’d retire to the study and she’d make her way to the sunroom to sip martinis and relax on the lounge. He didn’t disturb her nor she him. At bedtime, when they both said goodnight to Omega, they’d bump into one another again.
Sex. Oh, well, she was weak and he was brutal. [I]Perfect combination, right?[/I]. She refused him on last week, so Xanatos made up for it this week, by taking her each night since. She suspected work was draining for him, so he came home and got a little piece of her to restore his energy…or something like that. She was obedient; let him do what he wanted. Most times, she got off, but sometimes she wouldn’t…on purpose. He never said anything, but she knew he was annoyed by it.
[I]Why these games? He said he didn’t play them…obviously; she was the MVP at them; always in the running. What grande scheme would she come up with next?[/I] She giggled. The bartender…”Harry”, she noticed on his nametag, looked up at her.
“You know, I think I’m going to have to cut you off after this one.”
“No, one more please. I have,” she glanced at her chrono, “I have about 45 more minutes before I have to go home…and don’t worry, I have a driver,” she smiled winking.
“I’ll have to see this driver, you know…see you get in the car with him before I can allow you to leave the premises.”
“No problem. Actually,” she cleared her throat and turned on the stool, “if you look to the back over there…see those three guys? Body guards,” she whispered.
“Body guards? Are you some kind of celebrity or something?” He asked amazed.
“No, no. That might be nice, but…my hus-, my partner, he doesn’t trust me,” she smiled then threw back the remainder in her glass.
Instantly the bartender’s expression dampened. She hadn’t worn her ring…so automatically he’d assume that she was single…
“Yeah, I’m married,” she sighed. “And between you and me?” She asked, motioning him closer. “He’s psychotic,” she finished on a giggle. Something in the back of her mind flashed “SLOW YOUR ROLL, TAM.” She always thought Xanatos was…hell, he was ‘something’: definitely obsessive, a little anal retentive, and a whole lot of ‘pyscho’.
“Don’t look so scared…he’s not a serial killer or anything. He’s just real possessive of me…thinks I’m something special, when I’m not…” she said, growing thoughtful.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” She asked him suddenly, wanting to turn the subject to him.
He blushed and slid her drink towards her. “There’s this girl I’m dating…we’re not like, official or anything, but…”
“That’s great. That’s really great. I hope you treat her well, you know. You want some advice?” She asked before taking a large gulp of the refreshed cocktail.
“Sure,” he smiled, leaning on the counter toward her.
“If she laughs while you are ‘together’, like ‘in bed’ together…don’t get pissed, just as her why and, because you know, you may never, -hiccup-, know what it is she’s laughing about…I mean it could be a good thing or…”
[I]Okay, it’s now official.[/I] She was three sheets and a pillowcase to the wind. She stood, wobbling slightly. Quickly she composed herself, reached a hand to the hem of her dress (for it rode up her thigh) and grabbed her purse. She retrieved credits and an ample amount for tip and handed them to the young buck.
“I, I uh, it was nice meeting you, Harry…I have to –hiccup- now,” she said turning.
Immediately the three guards rose and met her at the door. They followed her outside to where the limo sat waiting. As she stepped inside the backseat and drew the door to close, it opened again. It was Harry.
“Oh, I see you were right about the limo and guards and…” He hesitated.
She smiled. He was really a cutie.
“Come here,” she said. He leaned into the car and she grabbed him by the collar, pulling him close. She kissed him sweet and soft on the lips and then pushed him away.
He fell back flabbergasted.
“I’ll see you next Friday,” she smiled and pulled the door closed. [I]Nice kid…nice…what the hell am I doing? I want to see my son. Oh f_ck, my stomach…sick again? Nausea…[/I]
* * *
He was there, in the study, waiting when she got home. She walked past the open door and headed for the stairs.
“He’s asleep,” a voice called from inside the room.
“Oh? Well, I want to go change and –hiccup-“
“No, I want to talk to you,” he said, approaching from inside, propping his tall form in the doorway. [I]He didn’t ‘look’ mad…maybe he was…[/I]
She turned…a little too fast. Her vision swirled and she rocked, reaching out to catch hold of the banister. What her hand encountered was the soft fabric of his shirt.
“Drunk again, I see,” he said, pulling her down the stairs and into the study. “Am I going to have to lock you up to keep you from getting like this?” He asked.
She stumbled into the room and headed for the bar.
“I’d like to see you try,” she mumbled under her breath as she fixed a tumbler full of ice.
“You’re drunk…you’ve had enough already,” he protested.
“I’m pouring wa-ter,” she enunciated then turned displaying the small green bottle of Perrier to him.
“What did you want to talk about?” She asked while pouring.
“Your ex-boyfriend, Mumby. I’ve located him.”
Her hand stopped in the air. The water from the bottle continued to pour; she had to stop it before the cup ran over.
“Mumby?” She asked wondering if that’s what he’d really said.
“Yes,” he answered. She heard as he plopped down on the couch. “I’ve decided…to let you, ummm, call him,” he said. “Explain things…”
She turned on him then and slowly and carefully walked over to where he sat. She stood above him, looking low, not believing. She searched his eyes. Those brilliant orbs gave her nothing; but then she was drunk and most everything had a tinge of a blur attached to it.
“Why? Why now?” She asked.
He smiled and reached for her hand. His eyes blazed a trail up and down her body. [I]Surprising that he hadn’t made mention of her outfit.[/I] He tugged her hand and pulled her around the coffee table. She stood just in front and he reached with both hands, pulling her down to his lap. She tried to sit side ways, but he grabbed a leg and maneuvered her into straddle-position.
“I think you need closure, so you can move on. Maybe this is why you drink so much…even when I tell you not to,” his eyes hardened and then softened again.
His hands settled at her behind. He squeezed slightly and gave her a soft smile. She tried to read him, but something in his face wouldn’t allow her passage…
“If I call him and if he…if he believes it’s me, what then?” She asked.
“What do you mean, ‘what then’?” He asked back, brow furrowing.
“Xan, we were in a relationship…a deep, deep relationship…what if he wants to…”
“No,” he simply replied. “Just tell him no. Tell him the truth. Omega is my son, you lied to him, you slept with us both…”
”What about the fire at his place? How will I explain that?”
“Tell him, you overreacted…that you didn’t know how to leave him…”
“Wait, so you want ‘me’ to take responsibility for all what happened? You did that, Xan, you and your cronie. If anyone has to pay it should be you. I’m sure the Order would be thrilled to hear about that little incident.”
“I don’t care about the Order anymore. As for the rest, consider it your punishment for not being honest with him in the first place.”
“What?” She asked growing angry. She pushed at his chest, wanting off, but he held her there.
“Admit it, Tam, the first time we saw one another, you know as well as I that we would be together…were meant to be together; yet you go off with the idiot anyway,” he spat, expression no longer understanding, but angry.
“You make it seem like I never had a choice,” she said in amazement at his logic.
“You didn’t,” he answered matter-of-factly.
Slowly she nodded. “I never had a choice, Xan? Oh, I see, back to my ‘slavery status’ right? Or, or the ‘Force dictating’, right? News for you buddy, I ‘did’ have a choice and I chose Mumby, for almost two years I chose Mumby; I didn’t want to have shyt to do with you. Remember, you took me by force and now, it’s only because of Omega that I stay here with you,” she said while attempting to stand.
“You never wanted me? Ever?” He asked quietly.
“Oh for Force’s sake! You and your f_cking needs,” she sighed. “It’s always ‘me, me, me’. You’re just a spoiled brat…so spoiled. Ironic how you were raised by the Jedi to be so selfless, yet you end up being one of the most selfish people I know.”
He gripped her ass, fingernails digging into the flesh. She cried and pushed again at him.
“Fine! I’m selfish! Thank you for pointing that out…and now since you ‘have’ pointed it out, know that you don’t get your one phone call to that drug-addled, Neanderthal of an ex-boyfriend,” he said pushing her back and to the side. She fell onto the couch, legs open. Her head hit the arm of the chair. Immediately, Xanatos was on top of her again.
“And because I’m in such a selfish mood today, I’m going to f_ck you, right here, right now and-“
“Xanatos, don’t!” She yelled pleading. They usually kept their ‘romps’ to the bedroom. The whole staff would hear if he…
He pulled at her panties; had her stripped bare with just that excuse of a dress riding her waist.
“Oh, how was your visit to the bar? How was, Harry, I believe his name is?”
She gasped, not knowing how he knew.
“He, he, he…he’s just a kid and we were talking and…” She watched as he sat back and unbuckled his pants. The silk fabric slid down his muscled thighs; his erection sprang free, poking through the button down shirt.
“Just talking?” He asked as he reached for her and hoisted her open body onto his lap. “I heard he reached into the car. The guards couldn’t really see it, but I’m willing to guess he tried to kiss you…did he try and kiss you Tam? Am I going to have to take care of him?”
She blanched…if only he knew. Harry hadn’t kissed her; she had kissed Harry.
“That’s what I thought,” Xanatos summed, after hearing her thoughts. “And that actually hurts a bit. Yeah, I’ll have to teach this Harry Potter, jackass a little visit.”
He pressed the tip to her opening and thrust hard and deep, bringing her full on; her body lifting from the couch as he gripped her at the waist and used her to the fullest. She didn’t get much pleasure; as soon as she felt ‘something’ he’d fall back and enter differently. When he came, he only grunted, no moans, no exhalations, no declarations of his love for her, nothing. It was empty and hollow and that’s how she felt when he pulled out and let her body slide back down to the couch. Empty…and dull; she’d be sore in the morning.
He stood, fixing his clothes. He turned and looked at her.
“Did you plan on f_cking him too?” He asked. Her eyes grew big and she slowly shook her head, “no”.
“How can I believe you? How?” He asked while squatting next to her and placing a hand on her brow. “Give me a reason to believe you, Tam…” He asked and waited.
She couldn’t say it. He wanted her to say, “Because I love you”, but that wasn’t happening, so she looked away and folded her dress over her body.
“Yeah, that’s what I expected. F_ck!” He yelled, standing, picking up a book from the coffee table and throwing it against the wall.
“Yeah…I’m a selfish prick,” he said nodding. “I sure am…you won’t be leaving this house again, unless it’s with me. No phone calls, no visitors, no…Gods, I can’t believe I almost let you speak with that asshole…” He shook his head disappointed.
He stood and looked down upon her.
“Get up…go take a shower; get yourself cleaned up.”
“Why?” She quipped. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” she said rolling her body, then her eyes as she stood and made her way to the door.
“You’re damn right. I hope you enjoyed your freedom, [I]slave[/I]…because there’ll be no more of that,” he replied nastily.
She turned on him, first throwing her panties, then her shoes, then the coat rack that stood by the door… He ducked and stomped towards her. He threw her against the door.
“You don’t like that, huh? Don’t like being called what you ‘used’ to be? Well me either, Tam. I don’t ever want to hear you mention that place; don’t say Coruscant, don’t say the Order, the Jedi, Obi-Wan,” he rambled, lips trembling, eyes darting to the side. [I]Why?[/I] She wondered. “And don’t ever think of that asswipe again or I’ll give you a ‘real’ reason to ‘mourn’ what you’ve lost,” he snarled.
With that he released her arms and pushed her again into the door. She cried. Had been on the verge of tears since his referral to her as a slave. What happened? Why did everything have to be so ‘f_cked’ up? She realized that she might be ‘losing it’, just a little bit at a time…losing it…
Her stomach grumbled again and the nausea hit. She walked slowly up the stair. With trepidation, she stopped into the nursery to look upon her son. Gretchen sat with him; she asked the older lady to watch him for the rest of the night. When Xanatos sent a servant upstairs to inform her of dinner, she refused to come down. She claimed a headache; sickness…due to the possibility of pregnancy. That night she schemed. No more children for her and Xanatos…no more. There was a doctor in town that could take care of these type things. She would make an appointment and someway, get out to see him. Abortion was never really a preference, but she couldn’t see being sidled with Xanatos again through another child. No way. No matter how precious the child might be…
“Where are you going?” Xanatos called from the study. She stopped at the door, hand on the knob and turned.
“I have an appointment,” she said, looking at the floor underneath his bare feet. He’d stood and walked into the foyer.
“What kind of appointment?” He asked quietly.
She wouldn’t look at him; didn’t want him to see her rolling her eyes.
“At the salon…for my waxing,” she said, glancing up and to the left. It was raining again, just constant, it was. She hated it. All these clouds brought her down and made her feel even more sequestered in this house.
“Hmmph,” he responded. “You didn’t [i]ask[/i] me if you could go,” he said.
She glared at him. [i]Ask? F_cking hell…[/i]
“It’s an appointment…it’s been made for quite some time now. I’m going.”
“Ask me if you can leave,” he demanded walking to her.
“I most certainly will not! Either I go, you ‘let’ me go, or the next time you go downtown, I won’t be the only one experiencing razor burn.”
His eyes widened at the visual. He stared at her a moment longer and then the corner of his mouth lifted into a smile.
“Wait in the car…I’m coming with,” he said turning for the staircase.
“No, you don’t have to…I’ll be right back…” She spoke to his retreating back. He took the stairs two at a time. Defeated, she rested against the door. Yes, she had her appointment today, but she also wanted to go get everything checked out…and to inquire about abortions… Some days she felt that she ‘was’ pregnant again, but not always. And she was too chicken shyt to take a home test.
“Ready,” he beamed from the top of the stair. He’d donned a blazer, with jeans and boots. His hair was wild on his head (apparently he’d forgotten to brush it), so when he stood before her at the door, she reached up and combed her fingers through the wavy locks.
“You’re not going in with me,” she said before turning.
“What do you mean, ‘not’?”
“You heard me Xan,” she said while sliding into the back of the car. “It’s a women’s only establishment…you’ll wait outside.”
He reached over and ran a hand along her inner thigh. His fingers brushed against her, tugging at the underwear…
“Stop it!” She swatted him away.
He grinned. “I don’t know why I haven’t noticed before, but yeah, you need a touchup…badly.”
“F_ck you,” she said, pulling dress back down.
“You already did…last night,” he grinned.
[i]Just why the f_ck was he in such a good mood?[/i] He’d been pretty moody and non-communicative for the past week…except in bed. He always had something to say, usually dirty nasty words and commands… [i]Bastard[/i], she thought while reaching into her bag for a cigarette.
She lit the filter and he immediately pulled it from her hand, reached for the window and threw it outside.
“I don’t want you smoking those things anymore.”
“Well, I don’t care what you ‘don’t want’,” she countered.
“Not in the car, Tam…not around me, then.”
“Fine,” she huffed.
* * * * * *
“You’re irritated down here. Maybe you should have that checked out?”
“Maybe I’m irritated because you just ripped two layers of superficial skin from my [i]mons[/i], woman,” Tam bit as she prepared for the next assault. The attendant laid the tape, pressed it into her skin and in a hot flash, ripped the wax complete littered with hairs from her body.
“No, I mean, irritation…have you changed your bath soap? Or lotion?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Okay, then what about your husband…”
“Prophylactics...perhaps you are allergic to them. There’s small red dots all along your nethers here. And before you say, they were there before I applied the wax.”
“I don’t know…we don’t use condoms, at all…”
“Well, there’s something irritating you. Does it itch?”
[i]Not in the way you’re thinking, old woman. Only on the inside…[/i]
“No, it doesn’t. I’ll get it looked at…thanks for noticing?”
“No problem…sit up for me.”
Tam rose. The area between her thighs was sore as the dickens. She stood, tenderly and hobbled the few feet to a steam-chair. She sat upon its molten throne and the heat which rose from below soothed the pain in her lower regions.
“Stay there as long as you like. I’ll return in a moment.”
She nodded to the older lady, leaned back in the chair and allowed herself some time to rest. A short while later, a noise sounded, the door opened and a figure entered the room. She lifted her head to see, wiping sleep from her eyes. [i]Xanatos[/i].
“Hey,” he said closing the door behind.
“Hey, I’m almost done…just had to sit here for a minute and-“
“Are you hurting?” He asked moving closer.
Suddenly nervous under his gaze, she pulled the towel further up, covering her legs.
“I’m fine…you should probably get out of here. I told you they don’t like-“
“Let me see,” he asked while reaching for the towel.
At first she blanched and then she blushed. [i]What in the hot hell?[/i]
“No…she’s not done,” she said pushing his hand away. But he gripped the towel anyway and pulled it back. She fought at his hands, cried at him to stop, but he only smirked, held her knees and opened her wide.
Her face was on fire. At any moment the attendant could return and-
She gasped. His hand slid up her legs and touched her there. He raised each side with the back of his hand. She grabbed his wrist and pushed him away; he grabbed her hands and pressed them back into her chest.
“Be still,” he ordered.
She watched him watching her, appraising her. His eyes flickered, glazed over---lids hooded now as he touched her, stroking her there…
“Xan,” she called.
He quieted her with a look and a movement: a finger traced her there, settling then pressing on the bud. She couldn’t tell if it was him or her who inhaled. She squirmed to get away from him, but it was to no avail. The steam-chair had her trapped. Xan holding her arms had her trapped. His fingers sinking inside…held her there.
“So soft…and wet,” he mused, yet looking upon her.
“Xanatos,” she called weakly, using his full name to get his attention. “She’s going to come back here any moment…you can…later, okay?” She pleaded. Gods, it was so hard to talk with such reasoning. He’d added yet another finger and teased her with gentle strokes.
She closed her eyes to the feel of him. When she heard him unbuttoning his pants, she woke up.
“No,” she said, shoving his hand away. She pushed him back and hopped up from the chair. “Go outside…I’ll be done in a minute,” she answered, breathing heavily. He stood there, flushed and aroused, not aware (or not caring) that they were in a public place.
“Outside, Xan,” she said while turning away and reaching for her clothing. Usually, after the steam-chair, they applied moisturizers…she’d forgo that now. She didn’t want Xan pouncing on her while they lubed her goodies.
He left the room, surprisingly. She struggled to stand while slipping on her dress. Her center throbbed like never before. Maybe it was due to the renewed sensitivity in that area. Maybe it was because of Xan’s heightened state after touching her. Regardless, she grabbed her bag and made haste to the door.
“Ma’am! Ma’am! We’re not finished…”
“It’s fine,” she called. “I’ll do it at home,” she answered, pushing her way through the door. She stopped at the receptionist’s desk to reschedule a new appointment. Xan had already paid, paid in advance. She never had to worry about payments.
By the time she got to the car, her p_ssy was on fire. The door opened before she reached it and a hand pulled her inside. She hadn’t bothered to put on her panties; rather stuffed them in her purse. She climbed inside, climbed onto Xanatos’s lap. He held her there, shutting the door, barking orders to the driver to take them ‘round the city.
Meanwhile, she reached for his clothes, peeling them away. He lifted the dress above her head and unsnapped her bra. She unbuttoned his pants and he lifted, sliding them down. Before she could get him inside of her, his large warm hand, met her p_ssy, stroking touching, feeling. She kissed him, moaned into his mouth and ground her body against him.
“Fuck me,” she whispered into his mouth. His hand continued to stir her. She stopped in an attempt to catch her breath. Her head rested on his shoulder, but her body continued to move. He sucked one breast, then the other as his hand feverishly worked at pulling her ‘lips’, stroking the nub, rubbing her core. His other hand clasped her bottom. He ran his fingers across her ass, slightly nudging her hole.
She groaned against him, kissing his neck, body on fire…
She grabbed his c*ck and stroked. He cried out, pulling at the skin of her ass as the one hand against her p_ssy reached around to pull those cheeks apart. He slid his fingers along the crack. She pulled him to her and sat upon his c*ck. As she had nights ago, she cried aloud. It was as if he c*ck pierced her very soul. Sweat broke out along her brow as she attempted to ride him. Again, it was too much this way; she knew he wanted to thrust upwards, hard and deep and she wanted him to, but she didn’t want to die.
So he flipped her. Smashing her head into the seat, pulled her behind to the edge of the cushion and slammed into her hard.
“Oh gods!’ He cried out as she bit his neck. And even as she pulled at him, held him a chokehold almost, he didn’t cease in f_cking her. [i]Oh gods, his c*ck…[/i], she moaned.
Somewhere between the time she announced her appointment and the moment he walked into the treatment room, she knew they’d end up like this. She didn’t think it’d be in the back of the limo, but… [i]there’s a first time for everything[/i].
She pulled back, watching him, watching as he entered her, watching each thrust. She saw his stomach muscles clench, savored the sound of his breathing and occasional moans; loved the smell of him and her, even with the oil the spa used for post-treatments. Her p_ssy sucked him in and squeezed him tight and she was better for it.
She felt it coming on. It was a slow rise, encircling her, coming in from out of the darkness. It was a blinding light that shimmered and quaked and shot pleasure through her core. Xanatos adjusted, exposing her cl*t for the pleasure beacon that it is. The brush of his flesh there, timed with the rhythmic thrusts in her channel, flooded her mind with realization. [i]He always f_cks me so well. I love his c*ck, I love his c*ck, I love his…[/i]
She grabbed hold of him, pulling him in for a kiss as she came. She moaned into his mouth, saying to him dirty things, dirty naughty things before the ecstasy of their bodies’ union gripped her hard. She called his name over and over and over again. He squeezed her ass hard, held her to him and came. She felt his warmth, stream after stream of warmth.
They stayed in that position, Xanatos on his knees in the cab of the limo, holding her…she just barely holding onto him, her legs clasped around him; her bottom teetering on the edge of the seat. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. He kissed her nape, turning while holding her in his lap, yet inside of her…
He kissed her cheek, her face. Her lips found his and they kissed, both breathing heavy, suffering still from the little death consumed in the back seat of the car. She moved to get away, but he held her there; held her close, despite the stickiness of their bodies rubbing together and the heat.
“I love you,” he said, kissing her cheek, then her ear, neck, mouth.
She sighed, not wanting to respond, for she knew what he wanted her to say…
“Let me off…” She asked, pushing at him.
He held her close, releasing her only enough for her to sit back. Their bodies were still connected. She reached for her dress and pulled it over, not bothering with the bra. He watched her, eyes traveling over everything and then down to where they remained connected.
“What’s this?” He asked touching her there.
“The…dots…do you have a rash or something?” He asked, while bowing her body away so that he could have a better look. She pushed at him and was successful, sliding him out of her body as she rolled next to him on the seat. He watched her, eyes now becoming suspicious.
“It’s not a rash…it’s just, I don’t know what it is,” she answered, straightening her hair.
“A rash, huh?” He asked, yet eyeing her.
“Yeah, maybe…it doesn’t itch. Maybe it’s just hives or something…I used to breakout when I was a kid whenever I got nervous…”
“But down there?” He asked not believing.
“Yeah…everywhere,” she shrugged.
“I’m making you an appointment tomorrow. Maybe it’s that wax or that steam or some shyt they use at the spa…”
“No. She said it was already there before she began.”
“Hmm. Maybe you’re allergic to me,” he teased, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“I don’t think so,” she answered.
“Well, something’s changed to make you break out…”
She nodded, reached into her purse and pulled a cig from inside. She lit it and this time he didn’t object. She could feel his eyes on her. Could it be that he thought she’d been sneaking around, maybe? She could tell it was something along the lines of that…he was so damn possessive! She turned and gave him a small smile. He smiled and turned the other way, quiet, pensive. He didn’t even bother to pull up his pants until they reached the house.
[I]Rain, rain, go away…never come again…another day…[/I]
Tam sat on the back porch, overlooking the gardens. Normally, she’d be enjoying the view, but today, actually for the past few weeks, it’d done nothing but rain…rain, rain, rain on this dreaded planet.
Omega stirred where he rested on her chest. They’d played with his toys, on the floor for an hour or so, until he began to grow sleepy. Tam, feeling pretty lethargic herself, cleaved the little one unto her bosom and together; they’d fallen into slumber. They had remained this way, until Tam woke with a start. A clap of lightning in the distance set her off. She looked to her child; he was undisturbed by the sound.
Footsteps sounded along the concrete floor. She turned slightly, spying the figure of her husband approach. She watched him, through half-cast eyes; watched his stroll, his swagger as he slowly and methodically made his way toward her. He stood above her, wearing all black. He removed the cloak; his lightsaber swung from the belt loop. He stooped low; bending to his knees and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was a very tender gesture; not uncommon for him, but unexpected. [I]Why was he in such a pleasant mood this time?[/I]
“I’ll take him,” he offered, reaching in, fingers digging against her breasts as he pulled Omega from her arms. She smiled her thanks and watched as he held him close while walking back into the house.
Tam took a moment to sigh. Her son was growing. The imprint of his body had settled into the silk blouse she wore. The fabric stuck to her chest; melded there by the heat of mother and son. She reached to the table, retrieving her cigarettes. Lighting one, she heard Xanatos as he walked back through the kitchen, then sunroom onto the porch.
“How was your day?” He asked, taking a seat next to her on the chaise.
“Boring…long and boring. And you?” She asked, exhaling deeply on the filter. Xanatos faked a cough and waved the smoke from his face. She rolled her eyes and continued to puff away.
“Busy. It’s not easy running this company…pretty stressful at times,” he complained.
She cut him a look. “Aw, poor little rich boy, can’t handle running daddy’s company?” He looked at her sharply, but she shrugged it off. “You shouldn’t complain much, Xan. There are far more laborious forms of employ. Count yourself lucky that all you do is sign papers and approve orders.”
He glared at her; she could feel it. Secretly, she smiled, but outwardly she took another drag from the cigarette.
“More laborious? Oh yeah, I suppose something like managing a bunch of skank strippers is more worthy of being deemed as ‘hard work’?” he scoffed.
“He didn’t run a strip club. It was just a bar…with strippers and…”
“Whatever, Tam,” he waved her off. “You always try to downplay me. I do a lot to keep you happy. All this shyt doesn’t come easy, you know.”
“Right,” she rolled her eyes, not wanting to go on with the subject. She glanced at him while leaning forward to extinguish the cigarette. She noticed the lightsaber still clipped to his belt. “Do you use this at work?” She asked, reaching out to touch the steel item.
“When I have to,” he answered quietly, covering the machinery with his hand. She met his gaze and asked, “Why? You’re not a soldier anymore…why do you keep it? Why do you use it?”
He smiled, not answering her right away.
“Protection,” he finally said. She raised her eyebrows to him.
“But not everyone uses these things for ‘protection’. Mumby had a couple of blasters laying around the-“
”Tam,” he barked. “What did I tell you about mentioning him?”
“Hell, we’re talking about your Jedi-ism and past lives,” she said, quoting the ‘past lives’ part with her fingers. “Can I hold it?” She asked innocently.
“Hold it? Yeah, you can hold it,” he answered, removing his hand.
She reached for the saber, expecting him to undo it from the clip. When he didn’t she frowned at him. He sighed, released the clasp and set the heavy object into her delicate hand.
“Wow,” she said, admiring the steel. “It’s heavy.”
“Yeah, it is-“
“Can I turn it on?” She asked excitedly. He blanched, reaching for the piece.
“No…only I can do that; only Jedi can activate their sabers,” he explained, palming the unit in his hand.
She gazed at him for a moment, a slow smile spreading across her face.
“Power it on, I want to feel it alive in my hands,” she said while reaching a finger to his nose, stroking a digit down the length of it playfully.
He smiled and sighed. “Okay…stand up…over there, yeah, it’s got a long blade and…”
She got up and walked to the corner of the porch. He followed and she watched as he hit a series of button, thus igniting the blade. It hummed and throbbed and she felt the energy vibrating from its core. She smiled her delight. Xanatos caught her gaze and smiled in return.
“You sure you want to hold it?” He asked.
She could only nod her head in delight. Rarely, did people see the Jedi in action, sabers blazing as they struck down the enemy. Growing up, she’d always heard tales but had never seen a real Jedi until Xanatos and his master had entered the diner that day.
He passed the saber off to her.
“Be careful…don’t…whoa!” He yelled as she swung it in his direction. “No, that way, go that way with it…don’t strike the columns…it’ll slice them in half,” he warned. Giddily, she waved the wand to and fro. Its energy was like an extension of her, like her arm or her leg. It was as if it were actually alive.
“Did you train with one of these? I mean like, at first when you…”
“Yes. They like to start the younglings out early with real ones.”
She giggled as she swung it too close to one of the planted ferns on the porch. It’s limbs ignited for a second, the offended end falling to the floor.
“Ever kill anybody with one of these?” She asked innocently. She wasn’t prepared for the look that passed over his face.
“Did I say something wrong?” She asked as he walked to her and disengaged the power. He took it from her, and then clasped it back to his belt loop.
“That’s enough play time for today,” he smiled, wincing as he did so.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she stated while crossing her arms.
He walked away to the far end of the porch, glancing to the wilderness at the side of the house. She came and stood next to him.
“Xan?” She asked, prompting an answer.
“I have, yes…and I will again,” he answered.
He fixed her with a look that both pleaded and cautioned at the same time. It was frightening and for a moment, she kicked herself. He was a Jedi once; it’s part of what they do, killing people.
“No,” he answered her thought. “The first line is always defense, but if killing is necessary…”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” she attempted a smile to cheer his mood, but his shoulders and gaze were already crestfallen with bad memories, both past and present, future…
“It’s okay,” he said giving her smile before turning away. “You should go inside.”
She stood there for a moment. There he was telling her what to do again. However, she could use a shower, so she mumbled a soft ‘okay’ and stole away inside.
Instead of a shower, she ran a bath and sat soaking inside the large tub when he came and entered the room.
“When this rain lets up, we’ll go for a sail.”
“A sail?” She asked while sitting up in the tub.
“Yes, down in Meridia. I have a yacht there. We’ll take a mini-vacation…get you and Omega out of the house,” he smiled while stripping his clothes.
She made room for him as he sank down in the tub behind her. She didn’t mind…she needed her back scrubbed. [I]Might as well get him to do it.[/I] He heard her and had already reached for the sponge, soaping it before settling it against her back.
“Did you ever find out about that rash? What’d the doctor say?”
He’d let her go…alone. But of course his guards followed her. The doctor said it was an allergen; probably developed from the bath products she’d been using since being here for the past three months. She’d thrown them out and bought new ones. The dots began to disappear; for once, the doctor was right. As she explained this to Xanatos, she let her hand fall to her stomach. The doctor said she wasn’t pregnant, but she knew it now…two months without a cycle was because of more than just climate and planet changes.
“Do me,” he said waking her from the slight snooze gained from his hands washing her body. Slowly she turned around in the tub and got behind him. She sat on the edge as he sat between her legs. She added more soap and scrubbed, noting the expansiveness of his back…all that pale skin with minor scars and bruises. Bruises?
“What happened here?” She asked while touching a finger to the large blemish.
“Fighting,” he sighed, voice drowsy as she bathed him.
“Fighting? With whom? And when?” She asked confused.
He sat back, draping his arms over her knees, resting his head against her thigh. She dipped the sponge in water again and ran it alongside his face. Dipped it once more and squeezed its contents onto his head. She worked in a dollop of shampoo, once the hair was saturated and commenced with scrubbing his scalp. He sighed deeply and soon, she knew he was asleep.
[I]Who had he been fighting? And why?[/I] The thought troubled her. Maybe this is why he’d reacted so, so weirdly when she teased him about work…and then later when she asked if he killed anyone with… [I]Oh gods[/I]. Suddenly her hands stopped and she froze. She thought back to what he’d done to get her. The arson, the mind tricks on Mumby, the violence of what he’d done to that girl at the club…how he was with her… [I]Oh gods,[/I] she gasped again as the realization hit her. [I]She didn’t know him; never really knew him, but she ‘had’ to get away from him…get Omega and get out. There’s no telling how many people he killed daily. And all those threats he made about Mumby? And the guy at the bar? And, well, any guy she had shown interest in?[/I]
She glanced down at him; his eyes were still closed. Quietly and quickly she finished his hair and then attempted to slide from the tub. But his arms held her, hands grasping her calves.
“Where are you going?” He asked, voice thick with sleep.
She shivered for a moment; panicked as she thought of what to say.
“I’m done…you’re all washed. Stay here and relax. I’m going to check on ‘O’.”
She moved to rise and still he held her.
“What? I need to go check on…”
“You haven’t finished,” he said looking up at her. She glanced just beyond him and saw the tip of his c*ck stirring the surface of the water.
“No, Xan, I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m not asking you for anything…just wash me,” he grinned evilly.
She glared at him and made yet another move to rise. This time he allowed her some slack…or so she thought, until he twisted her body around and she fell to the tub, water splashing everywhere. He held her by her wrists now, his legs underneath, riding her thighs holding her in place. He reached behind for the sponge and plopped it in the water between them.
“Wash me,” he grinned, releasing her hands.
She took the sponge, splashed it in the water extra hard. Droplets flew, landing everywhere, even on his face. He glared as he wiped the moisture from his face. Slowly, she pulled the sponge underneath the water. It protested, not wanting its air molecules to be bullied out by the water. She took the sponge and ran it along his shaft. He cried and maneuvered his legs wider so she had better access. She continued with a few more strokes until she felt he was fully cleansed. She rose, or tried to, but he reached for her, pushing her back down to seating position as he stood on his knees, glistening c*ck bouncing in her face.
“No,” she said attempting to rise again.
“I’ve had a really long day at work…please, I need some release.”
With that statement she swallowed bile in the back of her throat just before she swallowed him. It didn’t take him very long; she made sure of it. She tickled the underside, tugged on his balls and grazed his ass cheeks so that he came and came quickly without her having to deep throat his member.
He wanted to kiss her, but she pulled away, stepping from the tub to hop into the shower for a rinse. She wanted to throw up. She used water from the showerhead to rinse her mouth and guzzle away the come he’d forced her to swallow. He stepped in behind her and she quickly exited. She didn’t see the confused look on his face. Better that he didn’t…she didn’t want to explain her ‘revelation’ to him or any other. She just wanted ‘out’ and for sure this time.
A cool towel touched her forehead. She swallowed hard, turning in the bed, opening her eyes.
“Where’s the water?” She asked, voice thick with sickness and sleep.
Xanatos reached back to the nightstand and retrieved a cup. She watched him pour and bring the rim to her lips. She sipped. Glancing about them, she saw their bedroom. [i]What?[/i]
“The water…where is it? I thought we were…on a boat…” She fell back against the pillows, moaning. The towel stroked her face, leaving a cool breeze in its wake while wiping away the sweat that seemed to pour continually.
“We were, but you got sick so we came back home,” he explained.
She felt his hands moving the comforter up. She pushed him away, grumbling. She was hot. [i]So hot in here…[/i]
“Off,” she barked. “I’m hot…get away from me,” she wheezed, rolling to the side, feet pushing back the covers. [i]Still hot…[/i] Don’t know how she did it, but her hands found the buttons to the top and the drawstring at her waist. She took the pajamas off, throwing them on side of the bed. His hands helped her; she felt them. She laid there, nude, save for the white bikini brief panties.
“Tam, you’ve got to stay covered up…”
“I’m hot!” She yelled, glaring heated eyes toward him. His gaze narrowed. [i]How long had he been putting up with her feverish rants?[/i]
“You have a fever. You’re hot now, but in a minute you’ll be cold again. You have to stay underneath…break the fever, so you can be well again…”
She waved him away, rolling again on her side. She closed her eyes, curling her body. Her head swam, breath wheezed; she wiped at her nose and sniffed. [i]I need a tissue…[/i] Suddenly a tissue materialized in front of her face. She grabbed it and wiped, then tossed it to the side. Closing her eyes again, she felt the bed sink in behind her.
“I’m going to lie here with you, okay?” Xanatos whispered in her ear as his arms wrapped around her. She fussed words incoherent. But she felt those arms cool skin to her warm… It didn’t take long; soon she was asleep.
Later, she woke cold and alone in the big bed. She turned, lifted and pain shot to her head. She reached out, one hand to nothing, the other to her forehead and gently settled back in the bed.
“Water?” A voice asked from over by the windows. She turned, squinting her eyes to see. Nighttime had fallen; the stars were out. [i]No rain…finally[/i].
“Yes, please,” she said, swallowing. She knew it was Xanatos, although his face was obscured by the dim light from outside. She could tell his profile, his silhouette. Give her a line-up of crazy, deranged Jedi and she’d be able to pick him out every time.
He took his time getting to the bed, walking slowly on bare feet. He wore no shirt, only a pair of brown sleep pants.
She looked away, as he sat on the bed next to her. He smelled of sandalwood and soap: his hair, damp; his face, clean. She glanced below and saw her body clothed in a long, white cotton gown. She recalled being naked at one point…
“I bathed you,” he stated quietly.
She sipped the water, relishing the coolness of the liquid. She didn’t realize she was so thirsty until she put her cup down for a second time and watched as Xanatos carefully filled it again. [i]He was unusually quiet…[/i]
“What time is it?” She hastened to ask.
“It’s late,” he answered, eyes upon her, no real expression upon his face.
“How long was I out?” She looked to him but found his gaze too penetrating. [i]What was he hiding?[/i]
“All day…and most of the night,” he said.
She finished the water, swallowing in large gulps. He took the cup from her before she finished.
“Bathroom?” He asked, pulling the covers back.
She nodded. Suddenly she had to urinate…[i]must be from all of that water[/i], she thought eyeing the pitcher and glass on the nightstand. She scooted from the bed, standing on unsteady feet. She wavered, but Xanatos caught her at the waist and walked her to the bath. He helped her take care of business and walked with her back to the bed.
“How’s O?” She asked while sinking into the bed again.
“He’s asleep,” Xanatos replied, rounding the bed and entering from the other side. [i]What was wrong with him?[/i]
“I’m sorry I kept you up…sorry you had to cancel the trip,” she said, trying to apologize.
“It’s okay,” he answered. “Some things just can’t be helped.”
[i]Wow. That was a really macabre statement to make.[/i]
“Is there something ‘wrong’?” She asked him as he moved underneath the spread. She attempted to move closer, but his hand reached out and stayed her advance.
“What?” She asked confused.
“You might still be contagious,” he answered.
“Xan, if I’m contagious I’m contagious…me moving closer to you won’t affect that,” she summed and tried to move in again. This time, he pushed at her shoulder, forcing her back into the bed. He hovered above, his gaze hostile and intimidating.
“You don’t really want to be close to me right now,” he said.
“Why not?” She asked, completely befuddled.
He smiled, or something and said rather cryptically, “You tell me…wait, you already did…while you were out,” he frowned and moved back to his side of the bed, turning his back towards her.
[i]I already did? What did he-? Oh no…[/i]
“Did I say something while I was ‘out’? Is that it?”
Curiosity led her down this narrow path. She wanted to know what he said; wanted to get at the heart of why he acted this way. Maybe she was still suffering from the fever because three days ago, she found herself, in an instance, scared to death of him, of the ‘him’ she ‘didn’t’ know. Now she poked and prodded and…[i]she would be her own downfall[/i] her mind echoed. [i]Just leave him alone![/i]
But she couldn’t. Something else led her so she moved closer to him, pressing her body against his back. He tensed at the touch.
“What did I say?” She whispered in his ear. He sighed and took a moment before turning to face her.
“You mentioned something,” he answered softly, face no longer closed to her.
She pulled at his shoulder; he settled onto his back, eyes gazing up. [i]Oh gods[/i]. He looked so damn pitiful, she almost wanted to laugh. But then his eyes narrowed and she remembered.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” He asked, a hand reaching to her stomach. She looked away, guilt building in the back of her throat. [i]What more did she mention? What she intended to do, maybe?[/i]
“I don’t know,” she said, pushing his hand away. He rose, pushing her back into the covers and settled over her.
“You don’t want it?” He asked.
“I don’t know if I am or not, Xan…just-“
“You don’t want any more children? With me?”
She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Xanatos only thought in terms of ‘forever’. Did he honestly think they’d be together always? That she’d never leave? Everyday, a small part of her felt like grabbing Omega and bolting for the door. That urge diminished over time, but it was still there, still brewing in the back of her mind…
“No,” she answered simply.
He gazed at her, those eyes, molten, drew tight and narrowed.
“Tomorrow,” he said rolling off of her.
“Tomorrow, I’m taking you to a doctor to get you tested. If you are pregnant, you’re having it…I don’t care what you [i]don’t[/i] want…you don’t have a f_cking choice,” he mumbled as he turned over.
She rolled her eyes and turned over, hugging her side of the bed, far away from him. [i]Whatever[/i]. She’d go to the doctor’s, get tested, get the results… If they came back positive then she’d deal with the situation; if negative, she’d do her best to keep from winding up that way. Although, glancing at Xan’s strong back, that would be almost impossible.
“I hope you’re satisfied,” Tam said as she stomped her way across the pavilion. Xanatos was close, trailing behind her like some loyal pup. She rolled her eyes as she approached the limo.
“I’m hungry,” she turned and declared waiting for him to open the door. “Why are you so down in the mouth? I took the stupid test…I’m not pregnant. Get over it, already,” she huffed as he pulled the door open.
She slid inside, fell into the seat and glared as he followed, sitting next to her.
“I’m hungry,” she stated again.
“Take us to Giorgio’s,” Xanatos called to the driver before pushing the button to lift the partition. The swank eatery was located on the other side of town.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she bit as she reached into her purse for a cigarette. She put the filter between her lips, lit it and pressed the window button to “down” as the car lifted into the air.
“Satisfied that I know? Yes, I suppose I am,” he replied quietly. He gazed out of his window.
[i]Then why are you so damn quiet?[/i] She wanted to ask, but didn’t. Her stomach rumbled; she placed her hand there, attempting to calm by touch.
They didn’t say anything else until she sat at the table in the corner of the bistro. Xanatos sat opposite her, still saying nothing. She flipped through the menu, called the waiter to order and placed a drink order for bourbon, on the rocks with a squeeze of lemon. Xanatos only ordered water.
“What’s ‘wrong’ with you?” She asked finally, lighting another cigarette and exhaling the smoke in his direction.
He looked at her, face blank, almost sad. “You seem…happy about all of this,” he responded, voice just a tad shaky.
She lifted her brows.
“Happy? Yes I am, happy that I proved your ‘over-reaction’ wrong,” she answered ashing the cigarette into a tray.
“You…you amaze me. You can be so cold sometimes,” he guffawed while sitting back in the chair, looking away.
“Me? Cold? Don’t I have reason to be, Xan?” She questioned. He was seriously pissing her off now. After all the shyt he’d done to ‘get her’, he had the nerve to accuse her of being cold.
“Not when there’s a child involved…or the possibility of a child. Makes me wonder how you really feel about Omega, learning when you did that he wasn’t the idiot’s child; did it make you sick to your stomach? Was the possibility of bearing another child of ‘mine’ so horrendous to you?”
Pissed, she mashed the cigarette into the tray, extinguishing the light. She glared at him, and then looked away. She wanted so badly to hurt his feelings, but she had to be careful saying what she was about to say.
“You and I,” she began then stopped then began again. “We’re not fit to bring another child into this world. I recognize that…why complicate things? You, with what you ‘do’,” she said flippantly while shaking her head in disgust.
Suddenly, he reached across the table, grabbing her wrist her jerked her body forward. Her waist pressed into the edge of the iron table; her cheeks were ablaze with embarrassment as the move upset the dinnerware causing some pieces to fall over. Others in the restaurant glanced in their direction. She looked to Xan, pleading silently, [i]not here, not now[/i], but he didn’t seem to care.
“You seem to have forgotten who you’re speaking to,” he declared, voice mincing the words, body tense with renewed anger.
She swallowed. [i]How to calm him down…oh yeah, apologize[/i].
“I’m sorry, Xan. I didn’t mean it that way, I said the wrong thing, I-“
“Shut your mouth,” he said, shaking her once then releasing her wrist. “Get up. We’re leaving.” He said standing. He motioned for the waiter to cancel the order as she sat, immobilized, gazing upon him. Her heart beat war drums inside her chest. Had she finally pushed too far?
After paying the waiter, he reached a hand for her. She stood slowly, heart full of sadness. She wanted to cry. Why? Because, because…
“But I didn’t eat…” She said as he ushered her through the door out onto the sidewalk. She didn’t know where the words came from, or why she said them. [i]Distract him. Get his mind off of what just happened. Play him; make him feel guilty for denying you your next meal.[/i]
But none of her inner monologue helped. Xanatos was a silent, heaving beast during the ride back to the house. He followed her inside, up the stairs to the bedroom. As he removed his clothes, she sat on the bed, waiting… [i]Maybe, after…maybe he’ll be okay again. If I respond then, maybe he’ll…[/i]
He came out of the closet, carrying with him a suitcase and an arm full of clothes. He said nothing; never glanced in her direction, even as her hand began unbuttoning the top of her blouse. He went to the bureau and pulled things from inside.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
He didn’t answer; just continued to pack his clothes away. So she watched, a reluctant audience she gave his actions without words. When he finished, he finally acknowledged her with a glare and a statement.
“I’ll be in town for while,” he said while snapping the clasp on the luggage. She looked away. [i]In town?[/i] “I’m going to give you some space,” he continued.
She looked to him, hopeful.
“Oh no, not ‘that’ much space,” he answered with a bitter grin. “I know that’s what you want, but no, you won’t get ‘that’,” he finished while picking up the bag and walking to the door.
“You’ll have free reign of the house…the grounds, but you won’t be allowed to leave. I’ll have my men on guard, as always, so don’t think of trying anything,” he warned.
She grew angry. “Why don’t you just make this official? Give me a divorce…I’ll go my way, you go yours; that way you won’t have to worry about me ‘trying anything’,” she huffed.
“Tam,” he sighed. “I just can’t be around you now. You…you frustrate the hell out of me, and sometimes, sometimes I think I want to hate you…”
“Ditto,” she said interrupting. [i]But I actually ‘do’ hate you, Xan[/i], she spoke to herself.
“But I love you…always will,” he finished with defeat in his tone. He turned and exited the room. She heard as he walked down the stairs. Moving to the window, she watched as he entered the car and as it took to the air, speeding towards the city.
[i]Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. As if having another child could make things better for them?[/i] She fell across the bed thinking of nothing and everything. Hot tears ran and cooled along her face. She fell asleep with the sound of thunder in the distance.
He liked the motion of the whip. He watched, mesmerized, as the leather, glass-tipped bands soared through the air and connected with the plain of skin belonging to Jedi apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The younger male cried upon each landing. He cried, vocalized his pain, but didn’t beg him to stop…not once. Hauling the mechanism back again, he grinned as it landed, cutting skin, ripping tissue. It felt good, damn good. It was what he needed to exorcise the frustration he held for Tam out of his body. Normally, he’d f_ck her, f_ck her silly, f_ck her blind, but he hadn’t been near her, hadn’t seen her for five days now. The separation had begun to take its toll on his mind and his body.
“Have you had enough?” He called, watching the younger’s body sway from the cord hanging from the rafters. It was one of his many shipping warehouses, deeded under an alias through one of his subsidiary companies.
On a recent trip to Coruscant (one where he failed to mention to Tam he ventured), he and his cronies had planned to lay waist to the
As he watched the body swing to and fro, twitching in pain, he wished he had taken “the idiot”, instead. He chuckled at the thought; wiping sweat formed on his forearms and chest. He turned to his men who watched with detached ease as he abused the boy.
“Leave us,” he called to them. He watched and waited until the last of them filed through the side door. Smiling, he turned and approached the young Jedi from behind.
“Will you turn? Decide now, young Kenobi. Are you with me or against me?” He asked while resting a sweaty palm against the youth’s welted, blood-stained back. Obi’s eyelids fluttered in refreshed pain, attempting to open as he replied, “Against you.”
Xanatos made a tsk-ing sound, slowly shaking his head from side to side.
That’s not what I wanted to hear,” he mused, as his palm grazed the other’s skin; his nails biting into the flesh there. Obi keened from the touch, trying his best to sway away from his captor.
“My master will come…he will find me and destroy you!” He choked.
“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Xanatos promised, matter-of-factly. He lifted a hand to the collar clasped snug against the boy’s neck and tugged.
“How old are you?” He asked, suddenly curious about Qui-Gon’s latest foundling.
“Eighteen,” Obi-Wan sighed.
“Oh? You are the same age I was when I left the Order.”
“I thought you were kicked out,” Obi said, opening his eyes. The grey-green of his gaze fell upon Xanatos who shook at the innocence of the younger’s stare. (weird wording I know)
“Is that what they’re saying now?” He laughed. “I quit that miserable place…and I’m better for it. I have a life now…one that belongs to me. No more dictates from a council of twelve,” he bit the words and walked away.
“Married, are you? Is that one of the things you couldn’t have?” The voice called from behind. Xanatos turned sharply, ‘question’ in his eyes.
“How do you know-?”
“The ring…I only assumed,” Obi replied, lowering his gaze. “Married…and with a woman who refuses to return your love…”
Xanatos tensed. [i]How could he know? Oh yes…Qui-Gon.[/i] He didn’t know why he allowed himself this moment of benevolence with his prisoner. Maybe it was because he was tired…and missing his wife… [i]Tam…[/i]
He walked over to the boy, fetched the whip from the floor and flung it upon him again. Once, twice, more times than he could count, he continued to flail the device wanting, craving, needing to see Obi’s body covered in blood. [i]Needing to shut him up…keep him from mentioning…[/i]
“With me or against me?” He asked after stopping. He wanted the boy to convert. If Qui-Gon and the other glorified messenger boys wanted the boy back, he, Xanatos would make damn sure he returned him to them with his spirit and belief broken in a thousand places. He waited on a response but the boy didn’t reply.
“Fine,” he said throwing the whip onto a table full of various torture devices. “Same time tomorrow, then,” he called to the youngster as he picked up his shirt from the floor, shrugged it on and made his way to the door. He grew tired of this; all of it. Sure he wanted revenge against ‘them’, but he was tired…so tired. He needed something else, some other means to expel the hurt and pain he’d suffered at the hands of others; even his wife. He would go home now. Five days had been long enough. He would go home to her and take her hard and rough and make her, [i]make[/i] her love him…
* * * * * * * * * *
It was a dream; a very bad dream in which darkness loomed overhead and all around. She tossed and turned in the large bed, alone with the storm raging outside. She burrowed deep under the covers and remained that way until the heat grew to be too much, so she flung the spread away, kicking at it with her feet.
Back and forth, all night, for the past five nights, this sequence played out. She never knew, realized how much she missed being in bed with someone, with him. Now cold, the lightning flashed into the window, she reached for the duvet and pulled it close. Sleep, she tried for it again, glanced at the chrono seeing the hour late as it had been for past nights. [i]Damn it all,[/i] she voiced her frustration.
Sitting up, she slid from the bed, slipped on her slippers and wandered into the nursery[i]He could sleep through Armageddon[/i], she thought to herself smiling. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss to his forehead. He stirred, repositioning his hand. She touched the small appendage, stroked those tiny fingers. [i]Best thing that’s ever happened to me[/i].
Downstairs, she rifled through Xan’s desk looking for matches. The cigarette clutched between her lips begged to be lit. [i]If I’m not going to get any sleep…might as well...Found some![/i] She scraped a match along the back of the pack and stuck the flame to the tip of the filter. [i]Damn, this is good…[/i], she sighed exhaling on the cigarette.
Walking over to the glass doors that surrounded the study, she unhooked the latch and pulled it wide, catching a glimpse of herself in the reflection. [i]Gods, I look a mess…[/i] Patting the hair down; it was wild, unkempt, unruly. There were bags under her eyes. [i]To be expected…getting no sleep and all[/i]. Robe and gown and slippers all silk, were sprinkled with water blowing in from the outside. She stepped into it and on the porch, inhaling on the filter, staring into the darkness.
Security, some big oaf, walked along the edge. She stared down at him. He stopped, acknowledged her there by looking and then immediately turning away. [i]Bastards…[/i] She’d tried to leave…just for a walk on the back side of the property. Sure Omega was with her… She wanted to test them out. They kept behind her the whole time, at a safe distance, but enough to where they could run and catch her if needed. She laughed at the image. [i]Bastards[/i], she thought again as she glared at the one’s back as he walked away.
He’d called, but not to talk to her. He spoke with the nanny; spoke with the staff, but not with her. She flicked the cigarette into the rain, eyed the open door and pondered smoking another. Instead she settled on scotch. The glass made tinkling noises as she poured. It was a strong brew; burned her throat, tasted like shoe polish. [i]I’ll have another…I need to sleep[/i]. So she poured, shot, burped, poured, shot, swayed, poured, shot and sat down on the edge of the desk.
One, two, ten, twenty minutes passed, maybe more and the ‘sit’ became a ‘lay’ as she curled up amongst his things, with only her robe to protect her from the cool, wet winds blowing in from the open doorway. [i]Storm’s a’raging…[/i] she sang in her mind. [i]I’m all alone…no one to-[/i] Darkness prevailed, slumber took over. [i]Finally![/i] Xan’s laptop as a pillow was a hard sell at first, but now…[i]it’ll do[/i].
Later, she didn’t know how long it’d been, but the door she’d left open slammed shut. [i]The wind, maybe?[/i] She turned, eyes closed, onto her back, stretching, legs colliding with, kicking at and knocking off desk accessories. [i]I’ll clean it up tomorrow…tomorrow…[/i] Her head buzzed and fried and filled with fuzzies. She giggled then yawned. [i]What was it? Three or five half-glasses of scotch? Ahh, yes, about five…I should drink some water…just to stay hydrat-[/i]
Slowly she lifted, feet gripping the edge of the desk as she rose. [i]Whew! Too fast![/i] Carefully, she slid along the desk, knocking off more items but not seeming to care. She held to the desk, catching her bearings. [i]How far away is the kitchen?[/i] She glanced to the door…saw a figure standing there. [i]Could it be?[/i]
“Xan?” She asked the body that moved towards her. It ‘was’ him. She couldn’t stop the smile; couldn’t answer ‘why’ she smiled if you forced her to. “Hey,” she said as he stood over her. She couldn’t read his expression. He glanced around to the floor where items from his desk lay scattered about.
“Oh that, I was asleep on the top and I guess I kicked and it-“
“It’s fine,” he said cutting her off.
She started, intent on going to get that water, but he stayed her with his hand at her neck.
“What are you doing up?” He asked quietly, thumb stroking her throat. She swallowed, wishing for more light so she could ‘read’ him; although that might not help too much with her vision blurred somewhat from the booze.
“Couldn’t sleep,” she replied. He smelled funny…like sweat and something metallic.
“Hmm,” he said, other hand reaching inside her robe to settle at her waist. She gasped as that snuck around to her behind. Her hands lifted to his waist, holding there for support.
“Did you miss me?” He asked mouth dangerously close to hers.
[i]Gods, give me strength. I should be mad; he left me and…[/i]
“Omega missed you,” she answered, looking away. She wouldn’t admit anything; at least not verbally. He breathed onto her face, his mouth just barely grazing hers. Her fingers dug into the waistband of his pants…dug deep. He pressed her back to the desk; her behind pushing into the edge.
“Mmmhmm,” he said again. He rumbled in response. [i]What am I doing?[/i] Her hands worked at the clasp on his pants. She slid the zipper down and pulled at the material. He moaned into her mouth, letting her unsheathe him, as his hand pressed into her throat, squeezing. He lifted her gown and then lifted her onto the desk, was between her legs in a heartbeat and within her body in the blink of an eye. [i]Heaven…or as close as I’m gonna get…I’ve missed this…his ---[/i]
It happened so fast; almost felt like she was dreaming again. Their breathing was hot and heavy in the darkened room. He’d moan with every thrust, she’d sigh and whimper in return. He had her by the waist with one hand; the other held her leg, wrapped around his body. She clung to his neck, his shoulders, her grasp falling away as she sat back, held by her arms and watched him.
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt it coming on. Arms too tired to hold her body upright, fell to the side and she fell to her back, body arching upwards into his, against his. Grunts highlighted by cries from her trembling mouth surrounded them. [i]I want to cry now…being on the edge will do that to a woman.[/i]
Looking into his face, she called his name as her body crashed in, onto it, squeezing, pulling, taking him with her. He collapsed on top; they lay together breathing. He pulled out, wiping his c*ck onto her gown. She lifted her legs, propped her feet on the edge, reached a hand to her p_ssy and squeezed. [i]So wet…baby, he wants a baby…trying damn hard coming so deep inside-[/i] She snickered.
His hands settled on her knees. Carefully he bent both legs to the side and ran a hand along the back of her thighs then buttocks. He walked around the table. She felt hands underneath the backs of her knees and at her waist. He lifted her, holding her in his arms and took her up the stairs.
He stopped in front of the bed, yet holding her and stared at the mess of pillows, covers, sheets, books, cookies, etc.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied against his neck before licking it. She could feel him shiver. [i]Tastes like salt…and…[/i]
He deposited her in the center, stood back and began to strip.
“Take everything off,” he said as he bent to remove his boots. She watched him move, graceful, sophisticated, even when removing his shoes. He pulled his shirt down and she noticed the red splotches of…
“What’s on your chest?” She asked as he kneeled onto the bed, completely naked. He helped her with the robe, pulling the sleeves down her arms. Then he lifted the gown over her head, leaving her just as bare.
“Blood,” he answered while pressing her back into the bed.
“Blood?” She asked. [i]No, not this…not-[/i] “Yours?”
He was over her now; had slipped back inside. She opened her legs, naturally and clasped them at his back. Her hands pressed to the spots of blood on his forearm and chest. He removed them and placed them around his neck.
“No, not my blood,” he said thrusting hard and deep inside. She gasped, lifting her body to meet his. He f_cked her now; she once again open and accepting. He startled her when he asked again, “Did you miss me?” [i]I’ll just go ahead and say yes…obviously he wants to hear it…[/i]
“Yes,” she whispered into his ear, bodies rocking, bed squeaking. The answer renewed his vigor or something…
“Good,” he said sitting back and hooking both arms under the back of her knees. He pressed her wide open legs into her chest and commenced to f_cking her so hard, she lost concentration, forgot a rebuttal, forgot her name, who she was and where she was from…
Next morning, wet spots littered the bed. She was so sore, could barely move. It was hard to slide (even while naked) from the mattress to the floor. He’d held her in between f_cks, but was gone when she awakened. Bath water hot and steamy gave her bones and muscles some relief. Thirty minutes and still he was gone. Finally he came, as she rinsed in the shower. He held Omega…once again, she was stumped at their likeness.